Four years later my father passed away at age 52 years after suffering a long battle with cancer. He and I had become a little estranged over the latter years due to a few differences in opinion but I always loved my father and I am in awe of him even to this day. Once again I was devastated at his passing and even 18 months later I would be in a conversation with someone and would suddenly think of him. My eyes would fill with tears and I would be forced to turn away so that no one would notice. Sometimes grief manifests itself as anger at the world in general. There was an occasion during the fire season when I was driving over a narrow one lane each way bridge across a river near to where I lived. Smoke was everywhere and the bridge had been closed to traffic in order to allow access to the fire trucks. In complete anger and frustration I swung the wheel of the car and I managed to do a complete U-turn on that narrow bridge. It's only through pure chance that no fire trucks were coming through at that time otherwise you wouldn't be reading this now!
Life goes on and things became good again particularly for a young man in the prime of his life and it would be 12 more years before death paid me another visit. This time it was my beloved grandmother who was the matriarch of our extended family. She died alone one night in her home after a long battle with cancer. She had never struck me as a particularly religious person but she always impressed on me that I should never lose my faith in God. As for herself her own religious convictions shone through clearly in her tireless community work and constantly leading and looking after the welfare of others. At her funeral I remember feeling the first stirrings of anger that she had been taken from me but then either by chance or design the minister conducting the service said to those of us who had gathered words to the effect that 'my grandmother would not want her passing to serve as a reason for anyone to lose faith in or to hate God'. Right then and there I made a promise to my grandmother that I would at least do that much for her.
Death comes in many forms and many others of my loved ones have been taken from me over the years. Some people have the belief that only human beings are special and made 'in God's image'. I do NOT share this point of view. All of life is special even down to the smallest living creature. In particular our 'pets' can be as children to us particularly for those of us who have no children. The loss of a pet to some can be just as traumatic as the loss of a human. This I have personally experienced many times.
For the most part grief has its boundaries in that it is extreme in the beginning and gradually fades to the background with the passage of time. However there is one exception. In my subject area we use the term 'singularity' to describe a one-off occurrence which is separate to all other events. For some people there is for them some individual who is the absolute closest person to them in life. It may be a relative, a spouse or even just a friend but when that person dies grief is not so much acute as it is chronic. It never fades; it just is always there! For me that person was my mother who passed away in 1997. At her funeral I described her as 'my best friend in life'.